Banana For Candy
"Ding dong!" I grab the candy box and go downstairs.
"Trick or treat!" A small little girl dressed up as a lady bug smiles. Grabbing the candy, I put my hand in the box and felt nothing but wrappers. All the candy was gone, someone had eaten it! Although I couldn't go and create an FBI investigation, the little girl was getting impatient. Feeling bad I say,
" One second...I need another box." I sprint up the stairs to find any candy lying around. I couldn't find any candy... so I gave her a banana. The word got around that I gave a banana. Nobody came back.
Just so you know, a candy wrapper is spelt wrappers. Not rappers, because that is the plural version of rapper. As in the dudes that sing/talk to music. The sentence where you gave her a banana is a little confusing. I like your story, though!
ReplyDeleteTry so I gave her a banana also in the sentence the word got around that I gave a banana say I gave out a banana. funny story very creative.
ReplyDeleteVery creative story outside the box. One thing I have to say is you might want to use more deceptive language. Otherwise it's good.
ReplyDeleteI like the ending. It made me laugh.
ReplyDeleteConsider checking the verb tense of your story. It switches between past and present tense.
Also, maybe begin a new line after the quotes at the beginning of your story.
Maybe an exclamation mark after "someone had eaten it"?
I like your story! But I think the end is sort of bare. Also, you have an extra space between a letter and a apostrophe.
ReplyDelete