Mystery Accident
"The gas petal slammed down and we swerved off the road." Maria said to the officer.
"Trust me, I didn't think it was likely that I would be swimming in a dirty green lake, I'm a dancer!" She cried.
"Calm down please ma'am." The officer exclaimed.
"How can I calm down? I've been in an accident and I'm missing my compition!" She said with an agitated tone. The paramedic wraped up her leg and wheeled her away. The ambulance zoomed off with a screeching siren and Maria never made it to the competition. Although the mystery still lives as we don't know why the car swerved off the road.
Great story! When you say "Calm down ma'am." The officer exclaimed. You should put a comma instead of a period because it makes it into two different sentences and not together.
ReplyDeleteIt shows that you have spent time using the feedback that was given to you in class. Well done. Remember to read your story out loud and take time to revise and edit.
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