Exagerating on Career Day
"Next for Career Day we have Mike's Dad, Mike come on up."
"My dad could'nt come because he is a fireman." Mike said to his class.
"Just the other day my dad was putting on his enormuse wings to go save a baby from the biggest building in the world!" Mike exagerated.
"The lady cried out for him, so he jumped and sored into the air."
"All the people getting off the train watched my dad save the day!" Mike leaped with exhilaration.
"All the people cheered for him, but I was proud the most!"
"Thanks Mike." The teacher clapped.
Great story, but I think you meant to say "saved" instead of "save." Also, you might want to say " But I was the proudest" ins-tear of "I was the most proud." It just might flow better.
ReplyDeleteI like your story! I wished that you could use bit more of powerful language in your story to make it better.
ReplyDeleteThat was a great story! You used a lot of powerful language. It was very creative! Nothing negative to say! :)
ReplyDeleteWhat a creative idea for this weeks prompt. Well done on using proper punctuation when including dialogue into your story. I can really tell the boy is excited by your choice of words. Keep up the creative writing.
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